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Someone recently gave me a book by Matthew Kelly titled, “Resisting Happiness.” In one of the chapters he highlights feedback from hospice nurses the top things people regret during the last days of their lives here on earth.
Two stood out to me probably because I hear them from clients and I struggle as well:
* I wish I had just been me
* I wish I hadn’t cared what other people thought
The more I work with others and hear their stories, a predominant theme is the chameleon complex. This is when we shape shift and become what we think others desire us to be or do.
The problem is when we start living our lives this way, who we are at the core slowly over time begins to fade away.
It’s never lost, but instead goes into what you could say is a sort of hibernation. Kind of sad when you think about it.
So, why is it that we care so much about what others think of us and that we don’t have the courage to be who we are?
Answer these questions with either a yes or no. Don’t overthink it… just go with your gut response:
* Does my home reflect my tastes?
* Am I in my career because I wanted it or did someone else think it was right for me?
* Do I really want to be doing what is planned for this weekend?
* Am I comfortable expressing my opinions to others?
* Do I wear clothes that feel like “me?”
* Am I comfortable saying what I need and desire?
* Is it easy for me to say no?
If your responses were predominantly “NO,” the answer really is simple:
BEGIN SOMETHING DIFFERENT NOW.
Today, simply ask yourself whenever an opportunity, question, or choice arises…
“What is my preference?”
This question can answer anything from how you spend your time to what you eat!
“What other people think of you is none of your business.” ~ Wayne Dyer.
Have a great weekend!