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As I write this I am sitting at my recently organized, moved, and decluttered desk. I’m in the midst of an 8-week course on “Feng Shui” for your home and office… and it’s been very enlightening! Since my personal “success” direction is South, I was instructed to place items that reflect what I love to do as well as reminders of moving beyond limited expectations from myself and others.
A very beautiful Lalique perfume atomizer I received from a friend is sitting smack dab in the direction of the South to remind me that regardless of other people’s opinions, we and only we have the power to direct our own realities.
Fun little story behind the pretty little gift that I almost gave away this week for fear of “bad energy”…
In my mid 20’s I was at my first sales job and began looking at other opportunities. Along with increased responsibility and travel, came as you would expect an increase in pay. My friend who gave me the Lalique atomizer was also in my field and earning a salary substantially more than mine. For whatever reason, this person enjoyed bringing me back down to earth and reminding me I would never make the amount of money nor reach the level they had achieved. In their words, I should “just be happy with my nice little job because I just didn’t have it in me for the next level.” YIKES!
How many times have you listened to other peoples opinions and allowed their words to deflate you, hold you back, doubt yourself?
▪ Maybe it was the family member who never thought you’d get into the college of your choice so why bother applying?
▪ Or maybe it’s the friend who secretly hopes you don’t lose the weight, get the job, get the guy/girl because it that would force them to confront their own “stuff.”
▪ Perhaps it’s little things we still defer to our parents like how to decorate your home, what car to buy, or what clothes to wear.
In case you forgot, this is YOUR life! Think about this for a second… How much of your life have you played the chameleon shape shifting to what others think/want/need?
If you are nodding “YES that is SOOOO me!” here are few practical tips to step away from the crowd and into your own lane:
Identify The Lesson/Gift
When triggered by other people’s feedback, instead of completing relenting to their opinion OR getting overly defensive, stop and check in with the feelings you are feeling. Then, go a layer deeper beyond the feelings and ask yourself “What is this situation teaching me about me?”
Many times the people who offer up unsolicited advice are our greatest teachers because they are giving us moments to ground ourselves and say to ourselves “actually I am good. I know who I am, what I want, and how I want to live… but thanks anyway,”
These moments are opportunities for validation that we truly know ourselves… so WOO HOO! Give the nosey posey busy bodies a hug and go on your merry way.
Remind Yourself
Our brains really do listen to what we want. So reminding ourselves of our goals and intentions is a way of realigning on our path. This might be writing them down, putting visual anchors around the house/office like my atomizer to remind ourselves of our own power. Remember, you want these dreams… you chose them… they are yours!
Embody It
Remember my friend who doubted my abilities? Instead of listening, I chose to visualize and embody what my new role would look like, who I would work with, the home I would live in, the car I would drive, the people in the company, the clients I would meet. When we “make believe” that it’s already here, pretty soon our goals that are waiting to be claimed become quite familiar. It’s as if “of course this happening, I feel it already!” This way when it arrives, you know in your gut this is the right choice.
Back to my atomizer…instead of giving this beautiful and delicate gift away, I kept it. I now look at it as a reminder that our own power and our own lives are beautiful AND delicate. So hold your dreams gently, protecting and cherishing them because they are uniquely yours… and when all else fails, just remember other people’s opinions are none of your business. So mind your own biz!
XO-
Meg
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