16. Timeless Lessons From Audrey Hepburn

A quote by Gregory Peck. I found her a singular person. Unique is a very overused word, but she was unique. There was no one like her before, and there’s been no one like her since. So that’s a quote by Gregory Pak regarding Audrey Hepburn. And it’s from the book or what would Audrey do by Pamela Kyo? And she’s also the author of Audrey styles. So she’s obviously a big fan of Audrey Hepburn as am I. And I think it goes well with our theme today. And what I thought I’d do is, so let me back it up a bit. This book has been on my mantle in my den for quite some time, because I just love the look of it. It’s this beautiful blush pink book, very pretty soft looking. And, um, it was given to me by a good friend of mine, Kristin, gosh, I thought it was a couple of years ago.

And then I opened it today and I saw the inscription and the inscription says, Merry Christmas, Ginge she calls me Ginge or Gingy pop because I’m a redhead love dot. And that’s my nickname for her. Anyway, it was written in 2009. So that was 12 years ago that semi freaks me out the way time flies. So fast. And yet just as this book is timeless. So are we right? I thought what I would do, it’s been a while since I read the book and I remember the highlights from it. So what I did is I went through the book again and I took note of my favorite tidbits of Audrey Hepburn wisdom. So I guess you could call it the cliff note version of what I’m giving you. So thank you, Pamela Kyo, the author of what would Audrey do and let’s dive in. So the tagline in the book is timeless lessons for living with grace and style.

I just love this. It’s so inspiring. And I think what’s really beautiful to me about Audrey Hepburn is yes, she’s a beautiful woman. Aesthetically looks wise everything yet. What I feel makes her so beautiful. And I remember reading this book and just reviewing it recently. I’m reminded that she has this beautiful, inherent grace within her that is so appealing. And it’s no wonder that that inner inner beauty dis created this halo effect wherever she went, that does emanated from her and people were just so attracted to her warmth and her generosity. And of course her style. So I broke up into three components. So the first component is really kind of a fun component component, which you’ll find out in a second. And then I’m going to talk about how she, you know, just the Audrey style within your home. And then finally Audrey tips as the author says, for trying times.

What I love about this book is that it’s, it’s, Pamela’s take on Audrey. So she pulls actual quotes from Audrey, um, you know, things in Audrey’s own words, things that have been verified, and then she puts her own spin on things and comes up with, well, what she thinks that some Audrey tips would be, so this, what I’m sharing with you today is just some highlights of what Pamela writes about. And then I’m going to put my own spin on it. So it’s just getting spun down in a good way. So let’s dive in. So number one, this was what really stood out to me. It’s be the movie star in your own life. I love that. I love that. I often, when I chat with clients about that, I, I encourage them to step back and, and create the screenplay of their life. Who are the characters in it?

How are they going to step into the leading, leading role of their lives? What’s the setting look like? What kind of music is playing all of that stuff, making it a sensory journey. And what Pamela talks about in the book is when you become the movie star in your own life, you can tap into the wisdom of Audrey and you could be things like memorable. And yet also modest. You can, you can, uh, maintain a sense of wonder actually about your life and the world she writes. And I love that part too. So when you’re really the movie star of your own life, think of, think of the leading ladies. I always talk about this one. Okay. This one woman, it was a character and under the Tuscan sun with Diane Lane and her friend that she meets when she moves to Tuscany is I think she was like a former American actress.

She’s the tall woman with like the wild pats, just very dramatic. And she, she had the sense of wonder about life in the world. You just, I mean, walking through the farmer’s market, I’ve talked about this before and just how she would smell a peach or cuddle a kitten. And so really maintain that sense of wonder, you know, think about maybe where, where have you lost that childlike wonder of life, the sunrises, that’s kind of a big deal. Flowers are, you know, flowers, bloom it, the little things around us. I mean, there’s tiny miracles every day. If we just look. So just maintaining that sense of wonder, um, I love this one, be your own publicist. Now it, it sounds kind of funny when you say that. However, think about it. How often do you shine or shy away from the spotlight? Because you’re too embarrassed or too fearful about tooting your own horn or as they say, grabbing your own seat at the table because no one else is going to step up and be your publicist. No one else is going to speak your truth and it takes courage. It really does. I see this a lot in the corporate world and

Where, uh, women,

Women in particular, it seems struggled with that. And I’m one of those women that it’s difficult to really, like I said, toot our own horn, you know, give ourselves kudo, take credit for work. That’s well done. And if you’re going to be the movie star in your own life, you’ve got to be your own publicist. And the more you value yourself and speak up, the more others are going to take notice and value you as well. All right, what else? So, you know, she talks about really living the part. So if you’re the, if you’re the movie star of your own life, well, how are you living that part in the way you dress the foods you eat, how you show up, how you carry yourself, the language that you use, you can really have fun with this and step into that vision of

Who you, who you really

Are. Because when you, when you’re the movie star of your own life, the things that you aspire to be are, are alive within you. They might be a little dormant. They might be a little hidden, but they’re there. And that’s why they really stand out to you.

And then

Another thing, when you’re the movie star of your own life,

You rarely

Care what other people think of you because you’ve got better things to do. You’ve got to prepare for the next movie or the next scene. And she talks about how Audrey probably really wouldn’t care what people might’ve said about her on social media. Not that she was involved in social media, but, but she just probably wouldn’t have really cared too much. She had a sense of privacy to her that is, you know, somewhat lacking. And in today’s world, she had this elusive, she had this elusiveness to her. And I think that’s why she was, uh, people were so intrigued with her. So I think not caring about what other people think is more this idea of staying in your lane and living your life in a way that feels in integrity to you. And so if, if, if you’re living your truth, there’s sense of freedom in that.

And pretty soon it really makes no difference. What other people think about you or say about you? So this whole idea of, you know, being the movie star of your life requires that you really focus on the interior part of your life. Because so many people I read in this book, you know, they talk about Audrey about how beautiful she was. And yet she stood out from the rest because she had this inner sense of beauty. And Pamela talks about how there was this focus on her interior life. And so how, how do we focus on our interior life? I, and I love that phrase rather than personal growth or personal development. You know, we’re not pieces of China that are broken that need to be repaired or fixed. Um, and sometimes, you know, I, I think that’s the downfall of, you know, this personal development, it’s the striving and pushing and trying to be better and getting rid of who we are right now in different parts of ourselves.

It’s a much gentler, gentler approach to focus on what Pamela calls your interior life. I love that. And how do we focus on that? How do we come? How do we become even more beautiful in the interior parts of ourselves? Well, staying centered, that’s a big one. You know, if you, if you see, um, interviews of Audrey Hepburn, she was very centered, very grounded. And so what can you do to stay centered? Perhaps it’s things like meditating, trying to stay in the moment, breathing breath work. Another way to focus on the, your interior life is to check your ego at the door. Boy, that’s really tough. That’s tough because so often we want to be right. We want people to know that we are right. We want to win. My mother always says, especially when it comes to politics or really anything going on in the world today, you don’t have to be wrong for me to be right.

And I love that. So checking our ego at the door and instead being open to listening, leading with a compassionate heart, because the ego, it just has such that pool. And yet the ego can create a lot of emotional suffering in our lives when we let our ego drive the bus. Okay. Another part another, sorry. Another way of focusing on your interior life is this idea of not losing yourself. It can be, it could be a slippery slope and we lose ourself in our work or lose ourself in the roles that we play in our life. And it’s so important to maintain a healthy balance and nothing is ever, ever perfectly balanced, but just that ebb and flow and internally, I’m sure, you know, you know, when too much time and energy is devoted to work or too much time and energy is devoted to other people and you need to just have, even if it’s like five minutes, you know, shut the door and just sit down and breathe and meditate. So not losing yourself. And also I think relates to not just going with the flow and, Oh, I don’t care and not having an opinion, you know, really playing with that. Like, well, what do I really feel like for dinner or what movie do I really feel like watching? And those are little ways to remember yourself and not lose yourself.

I love, um, I love this last one for, you know, focusing on your interior life. And by the way, the book has many more. I’m just grabbing the highlights that I love. Um, the last one is, turn it off. And boy, that has been something that I have been craving lately, and I’m implementing more and more in my life, turning off the phone, turning off the technology, turning off the telephone, turning off the talking and just having some quiet time. And I know that when, you know, if you’re, if you’re a parent to young children, if you’re caring for elderly parents, if you are working two, maybe three jobs, sometimes it’s hard to not, I’m sorry. Sometimes it’s hard to have the time to turn it off. And yet I think it’s interesting when we really map out our days and track, you know, the time that we’re on social media at the time that we’re watching TV, the time that we’re texting and answering our phone, you know, could we just dial that back just a little bit and just turn it off, go on a 10 minute, walk outside without your phone.

I’ve been doing that recently. I mean, usually I’ve, I carry my phone everywhere with me and I’ve just decided that my morning walks with birdie recently that I’m just not going to bring my phone. And it’s really amazing. It’s amazing because I have no distraction and I’m actually present with my dog. I’m present with the people that I pass. I have nice conversations. I see what’s going on in the early hours of the morning and how the city is waking up. And it’s, it’s really, it’s, it’s become more of an adventure. So, so there, so that’s the first part becoming the movie star of your life and focusing on your interior life, focusing on that inner beauty. So let’s switch gears and talk about making a house, a home. And Pam calls it Pamela, the author calls it, setting the scene. And so here’s a quote that Audrey gave to, I think it was Peter Jennings. It said in the book on when she was being interviewed, she said, I am always looking forward to going home, just being home with my loved ones and my dogs. And that’s where I love to be. So I am assuming from the book that I’ve read and what I know about Audrey Hepburn is that she really knew how to make a house, a home.

And how do we set the scene? Wow.

Think about it. We set the scene with music, candles, flowers, Pamela talks about in the book, China, I know like China, it kind of ebbs and flows with popularity. I went, I’ve been, I always go to consignment stores and I’m just blown away by the absolutely gorgeous China that is for sale for probably less than a third of everyday dishes like at crate and barrel or pottery barn. And this stuff is so well-made, it’s so beautiful, you know, not all of it as ornate. I actually got a whole set of just a beautiful cream Wedgwood and it was so inexpensive. I couldn’t believe it. And so just taking the time and it doesn’t have to be China. It doesn’t have to be flowers, but like whatever brings you joy, starting incorporating that into your home. And I think it’s important too, to like in Pamela talks about this on, when you start to look at your home, like, let’s say you were walking in today and it was a blank slate

Rather

Than doing what I’ve done in the past, which is going to, Oh, I’m at this consignment store. Oh my God. I love those chairs. And then I buy them and I bring them home and they don’t really fit in with the vision. My mother recently said to me, you’re not allowed to buy anything at consignment stores anymore that you think are pretty Meg. Like things can be pretty and they still really don’t fit into your home. She’s so right. Um, and so when you start to look at your home and you take inventory, know your vision

Right

Before, you know, your vision, Pamela talks about that, you have to really know yourself, how do you live? What’s important to you in your home. So really knowing yourself keen into that and then creating that vision. And then once you have that vision, clearing the clutter

And take it

Out, what is not necessary anymore and bringing in what is, and this is applicable to life, you know, decluttering the drama, decluttering, the chaos, decluttering, the energy drain. So your true vision of what you want has room to grow has room to settle in. And so, you know, Pamela writes about how, uh, Audrey would have a lot of indoor flowers and she would have her favorite things from, you know, her, her traveling, et cetera. So just really keen in and making your home a reflection of who you are and, or actually even who you want to evoke within yourself. I, I, I hesitate saying who you want to be because that, that implies that you have to do some sort of change and you don’t, you’re perfect the way you are. I’m talking about bringing to life, the certain parts of you that are just, like I said earlier, laying a little dormant things that you kind of forgot about yourself, that you want to cultivate a little bit more.

So bringing those to light and, and having your interior home reflect who you are, uh, Gretchen Rubin, uh, she is the author of the happiness project. She just wrote another book that I’m looking forward to reading. I think it’s been out for awhile, but it’s called outer order, inner calm, and just, you know, and for her, you know, she just talks about how it’s much easier to step into thrive mode in life. When we have some order in our physical space and order is, is relative. Some people thrive in a little bit of kind of, um, semi clutter. Other people thrive where everything is pretty buttoned up and has systems and all of that. Like the ladies on the home edit, Oh gosh, if you haven’t checked that out, check it out. It’s on Netflix. Um, and so just creating a space where you feel that you could really thrive and that when you come home from the outside world, that you feel like, ah, this is your place to rest and rejuvenate.

And I’m sure Audrey’s homes were beautiful. I’m sure they were elegant and warm and I’m sure people never wanted to leave with her dogs. And the book talks about, I think it talks about, um, you know, just like the, the parties that she liked to have. And, and so we all have the ability to cultivate that, um, and have, and we can have fun with that. Okay. So then I’d like to hop over to the final part, which is so applicable to today, and this is Audrey’s tips for trying times. And Pam talks about in the book, things like talking to those you trust. So whether that is a family member, a counselor, you know, a spiritual guide, whoever it is, but really, um, I don’t want to say be careful who you talk to. That’s not what I’m trying to communicate, uh, being cognizant of who you expend the energy on.

I feel like sometimes when we repeat the same story, 10 times, it just drains us number one, and number two, we get 10 different responses and advice and wisdom and tips and all this stuff, and it, it can become overwhelming. So if you can just key in, um, especially for different areas too, by the way. So if you’re going through a trying time at work, grab onto one of your divine team members, I always call it like who’s on your divine team in terms of work, in terms of personal life, in terms of spirituality, in terms of, um, you know, exercise or physical health and, and, and identify these people who are on your divine team and reach out to them, you don’t have to pull 10 people to get the support you need. You can go to the experts who are within your life right now.

Another tip that Pamela talks about that relates to ways that Audrey, um, handled trying times was just, you know, meditating even for a few minutes, just breathing, coming back to the present moment. I don’t know about you, but I find myself so often breathing in my upper chest rather than deep breaths, you know, down in my ballet. And, and so the more that we can even just stop, even if it’s in the grocery store line, just pause, close your eyes for a few seconds and just breathe. It’s this little mini moments throughout the day that can just bring you back to center and calm you down. Another tip is have faith, right? Why not have faith that when you’re going through a difficult time, that just like the tide turned into more of a difficult time, the tide will turn and things will lighten up. And that’s the interesting thing about not getting attached to the quote unquote bad times or the quote unquote good times, because they’re both fluid. And so if we can learn to just kind of, again, remain centered, remain grounded and just flow flow with life.

Okay? I like a few of these, these other ones, the last ones are kind of fun. Well, this one isn’t fun. One of her tips is have a good cry. I guess it’s fun. Like when you’re done crying and you’ve released all the emotions, but it’s so true. If you’re going through a trying time, you don’t have to hold it in, happened the car, turn on some music that’ll make you cry and get that energy released from your body because that’s what it is. Our emotions. Sometimes we, it, it’s just, you know, emotions that won’t release our stuck energy. And when you cry, you guys know what I’m talking about. When you have a good cry,

There’s like a calm after the storm. So nothing’s wrong with a good cry. I love this one. Get a dog. Well, I think the world has definitely checked that one off the list. You can’t even, you can barely get a dog these days, because during this trying time over almost the past year, I know the shelters are empty. Um, I have one to two friends that are currently looking for dogs. I had like four friends get dogs over the past 10 months. Um, and the two friends of mine that are looking for dogs every time they say, I’ll take it, sorry they’re adopted. I mean, the dogs are just gone like hotcakes, because I think people realize isn’t it interesting in a trying time, what do you go to you go towards the things that really are all about contentment, love, coziness, calm. It’s like you just settle down and come back to really what’s important. And, and gosh, for, I mean, I’ve had a dog, my entire adult life, I actually have had my dog had a dog, my whole life growing up. We always had dogs, sometimes three dogs and they are just, yeah, they’re just the best. So coconut dog, but don’t get a dog if you don’t want to get a dog, because if you get a dog and you don’t want a dog, then it’s not a good ending. It’s just not right. So maybe get a cat or maybe a bunny or a hamster. You get my drift.

Okay. And then the last

Three, I’d love this one to remain close to family and not so much, you know, if you can’t be physically close, but just remaining close, keeping the communication up. Um, thank goodness for FaceTime and zoom, just so we can see one another’s faces and, um, you know, just having that connection and, and again, family can be, our family could be defined as beyond like bloodlines family can be, your best friend could be like family. Um, your neighbor could turn into, you know, family, if you get to know them, I had a neighbor when I lived in the suburbs and yeah, she was just like a grandma to me and I’d hang out with her on a Friday night sometimes rather than going out with my girlfriends, because I just found her so interesting. And we’d sit with her dogs or cat and have Mercs cheese and crackers and just chat.

And it was actually, as I’m sitting here saying this, some of the most cozy fun evenings, um, during that time in my life, it was, it was really lovely. So yeah, just like, you know, and if you, if you don’t have close family create your own family within your community with, within your circle of friends, and then the final two are two of my favorites. I’m not going to lie, get a massage and take bath. I love baths. I’ve been taking a lot of bath slightly. They’re just such a simple luxury and I love it. So yeah, those are Audrey’s tips for trying times. So if you’re interested again, this book is called, what would Audrey do by Pamela Kyo? And that’s K E O G H. And I am glad that I pulled this off the shelf and went through it again. It’s so inspiring.

And again, she also wrote the book, uh, Audrey style that I think I’m going to have to check out. I think the gist of it is with this book is that we all have the power to add a little inspiration, add a little loveliness, add a little style and grace to our everyday and a little bit goes a long way of, you know, a little bunch of flowers or a scented candle, or, you know, take some time to iron your pillowcases. I know that sounds crazy, but it’s just, maybe not, maybe it doesn’t sound crazy. Maybe you do it too. It’s just little pleasures. Uh, when things, when you’re, when we’re able to have a little dinner party and just relish in, in the simple pleasures of human connection, good food, great music. And just the idea of all of us being connected in so many ways. So with that, I thank you for again, for inviting me into your world today and please rate and review this podcast. And I look forward to, uh, coming up with some new ideas for you for the next podcast. I’ll see you soon. Bye-bye

[inaudible].