I had an interesting conversation with someone this week around the idea coming out of the closet… as it relates to showing the world our real self vs. our “BEST!!” self. How are they different?
Our “best” self is all the good stuff we, and others, love about ourselves. …. And they are wonderful!
I have another version called our “BEST!!!” self. This one tends to be an image we portray because we think that is what is required of us to do in order to be loved and accepted… or in other words part of the “the cool crowd.”
Our “real” self is a bit different. It feels like an exhale of “ahhhhhhhhh” as it deflates the pent-up, toxic energy. “This is me… take it or leave it!”
It’s a beautiful and crazy combobulation of our shiny parts as well as our shadow sides…and when we gather the courage to show it, life might feel scary momentarily but boy does it end up feeling good!
A great test to see which one you are grounded in from time to time is to check in with how you feel:
When we choose to show our REAL selves to the world, we’ve reached an entirely new level of being. Being full on authentic regardless of the fears or risks of rejection is really a choice to be completely okay in the world regardless of others opinions.
Wow. How freeing is that?
Think back to when you were a child or teenager. What were you passionate about? Were you expressing it in your life, putting energy towards it, sharing it with others? Or were you like me and hid it?
Funny story. I was literally in a physical closet in terms of my hidden dream. I would lock myself in the bathroom as a child to privately practice Prell Shampoo and Crest toothpaste commercials…. for hours.
My dream was to be an actress… on Love Boat or Fantasy Island or if I was super lucky Days of Our Lives.
But I was embarrassed to share this dream.
Fear that people would think I was “full of myself,” arrogant or that I really loved who I was (as if that was something to be ashamed of.)
Why do some of us have the courage to say “The heck with it. This is who I am and your opinion is none of my business. I have my life to get on with!” …while others keep their gifts locked in the closet…or bathroom in my case?
It’s most likely the presence or absence of self-acceptance.
When we don’t 100% “own” who we are, we run the risk of being triggered by outside influencers we view as not accepting us for who we are. Their word or actions are like shocks that echo against our inner emptiness.
The cure lies in filling up the emptiness with unconditional self-love and acceptance.
I am curious, what dreams have you put on hold? Where are you playing small in life? Is there drama/chaos/conflict in your life that’s creating echo storms within your soul? If so, maybe it’s time to start coming out of the closet in terms of what lights you up, brings you joy, and is your purpose in this lifetime.
Not long ago, I realized during a moment of reflection that in order to do what I want to do in this lifetime I had to let go of any lingering regret, guilt, fear, or resentment towards myself and others. Unless I was able to do this, the people in my life, as well as myself, would be robbed of the gifts I have to share.
We all have a purpose and that purpose is wrapped up in our unique gifts. If you are ready to come out of the “BEST!!!! Self Closet” and get real…
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