Dear Darling,
I must say it’s been a whirlwind of a week. In fact, there were a few days that were completely hijacked by nothing other than my pesky little people-pleasing antics! Although I’d love to take the easy route and put the blame on others, the truth of the matter is it is me and only me who creates this dust storm of drama at times!
It’s likely the fault of the deeply worn paths in my brain and soul that at times shriek, “they need you! Just say yes! What will they think of you if you say no? Be a good girl.”
Can you relate? If so, grab your tea and settle in…
The week was off to a great start and before I knew it I was running here and running there for others at the cost of my own schedule and responsibilities. Feelings of resentment began bubbling up and a voice in my head said, “oh dear, don’t you see you have created the resentment by completely unleashing your energy to everyone and everything around you???”
In fact, it was fascinating watching a friend go through something similar. She was so frustrated with numerous violations of her “time boundaries” and yet she had never built any solid boundaries to begin with! Isn’t it so perfect how we can watch another person slipping and tripping down the icy path of extreme people pleasing yet we don’t anticipate our own tumbles? This treacherous path, however, is enticing to those of you who, like myself, relish in being kind, empathic, compassionate, and sensitive to others. It’s in your nature which for the most part is fabulous and yet at times it can be your biggest downfall.
Aside from keeping any negative impressions of you at bay, what exactly do you receive from being a people pleaser?
Imagine people pleasing moments as mini boomerangs you are catapulting into the world each day. Do you send them off without expecting they return… or do you wait with bated breath for the “thank you” “you are so generous” “what would I do without you” ” you are the kindest person I know.”
I have a dark little secret to share with you my friends. Before I was Elegant Evelyn I was Penelope The People Pleaser. It gave my life meaning and frankly, if I wasn’t of regular use to others than who exactly was I?
Of are nodding your head, I implore you to write this down and say it every day while looking in the mirror…
“I am enough.”
When you take the plunge and courageously begin saying yes to yourself and what you desire, some funny things happen…
You find that time exists in your calendar to just “be” and do the puzzle, read the book, daydream, go on a bike ride, or bake the pie.
People who take and take and take from you will magically move on to the next person (please share this blog with them as well 🙂
You begin to find the space to discover what makes your heart sing and begin doing it.
By taking that first step into wellness, you find it easier to say yes to what lights you up and no to what doesn’t.
Pretty soon with patient practice, you no longer derive meaning or worth from what you do for others but also what you do for yourself so that you may be that much more of a light to others in your world.
So in other words my friend, be the leading lady/gentleman of your life. No more playing second fiddle, supporting role or anything that subverts your essence. This, my dear, is your life so go on and live it.
Until next time…
EE
